Beauty Bants

It has been yonks since I updated you on my recent beauty hauls. I think 2018 May be the year I cancel my Look Fantastic box. Someone once told me that you should only subscribe for 6 months as products will start repeating. My issue with Look Fantastic is I often find it quite make up heavy and I think that’s quite risky. I am a bit past experimenting with contouring and nude lips. I know what I like and more often than not, the make up I receive in a beauty box ends up in the fancy dress box.

I stand by the fact the Latest in Beauty box is completely Mega as you choose what you want to receive so no nasty make up surprises.

Anyway here are a few of the products I have tried in the last few weeks.

1. Rosie Glow Deep Cleansing Face Mask

Really good name for this mask. Colour is a warm, rosy terracotta colour and the smell is definitely rosy.  Didn’t sting as it was drying. By the end of the recommended 15-20 minutes, I resembled an Oompa Loompa. Mask came off easily. I didn’t have to scrub it off. Skin felt very soft. Not dry. Also massive bonus in that I managed to get 3 uses out of this one packet.

2. Look Fantastic Wonderland Bath Fizzer

I don’t need any excuse to have a long relaxing soak with a good book. Was really pleased to see a bath bomb in this month’s Look Fantastic box. It’s a limited edition in a fragrance called blueberry tea. Can’t smell much tea in it…just a lot of blueberry and that slightly artificial grape flavour you find in American drinks and sweets. The blurb in the book said to ‘relax amongst the bubbles.’ There were no bubbles but I am pleased to see bath products making their way into beauty boxes so it’s a thumbs up from me! Also loved the colour of the bath!!!

3. SUKI exfoliate foaming cleanser

Sometimes, increasingly rarely you get a total gem in a beauty box. This came from Look Fantastic. Initially, I smirked at the teeny tiny tester pot but then I opened it and I am crazy excited. First of all, it smells AMAZING. It contains lemongrass and colloidal oat which means it is suitable for sensitive skin. It has the consistency of granulated sugar and foams really nicely. My skin felt, soft and smooth. A 120ml pot would set you back about £33, but this is definitely money well spent. Planning on buying a ton for Xmas pressies. Thank you Look Fantastic for introducing me to this total winner.

I don’t want to get in the habit of slagging off products as like books I feel it’s often very subjective. This scent however, was not for me and I think I have pretty low standards nowadays. I tend to wear perfume that I know my 4 year old won’t steal but even she was unimpressed with this. I want to say if you love smelling like negroni or Campari then this is totally the scent for you. Unfortunately both those drinks make me want to vom so I will not be investing.

Anyway thanks for reading.


Good evening ranters and MERRY CHRISTMAS.

God today has been a total mix of ranting and feeling very grateful.

It started well, I woke up to find myself in bed with only my husband. This is unusual. More often than not there is a 4 year old in bed with us and this week has been a bit of a mare as 2 year old has also tried to get in on the act too. My back is constantly in bits as a result of this and I always do that dream like falling thing because more often than not, I actually fall out of bed as I constantly sleep on a razor of space. Anyway, last night I slept without children. Whoop! WIN.

I then was granted a 2 hr free pass to do some xmas shopping. It was all going well until I returned home to discover I had left a bag in the shopping centre. I drove like a mad woman back to the shopping centre. Cursing my life, the general population and with tears streaming down my face. And do you know what????? Some wondrous person handed it in to security!!!! I love everyone. I then scraped my wing mirror as I was reversing out the car park but you can’t have it all.

Anyway, FB Rants from yesterday.

Here are the stats.

  1. 118 comments
  2. 34 likes
  3. 26 Ranters
  4. 15 comments from people new to Rants


  1. When your 4 year old learns to write and then thinks it is acceptable to scrawl all over your furniture, sheets etc. Every day I find the name Edith in a new place it shouldn’t be.
  2. Hair Rants. I am blessed to have 2 very healthy daughters and I am completely happy to be in Team Girl. I do often wonder however what it must be like to have a son and not have to have the constant arguments about hairstyles. These arguments always happen at exactly 7:47 in the morning, whilst I am trying to do brekkie, hiding dummies from my 2 year old and trying to make myself look presentable enough to take my daughter to school. Needless to say, it is an argument I always lose. Edie has at least 4 hairbands on and I turn up to school looking like the Wild Woman from Borneo.
  3. Contouring. Who honestly has the time for this. WTAF?!? Utter lunacy.
  4. Ridiculous newborn photoshoots. Naked babies lying in pretend eggs???? Whaaaaaat!!!
  5. Awful signs that people buy for their houses. Things like ‘Home is where the heart is.’ ‘You don’t have to be drunk to live here, but it helps.’
  6. Marzipan.

THE RANTS. Rants in BOLD are reappearances of previous rants.

  1. Avocados where they don’t belong….like cups for coffee!?!
  2. Millenial journalists being offended by EVERYTHING.
  3. Women in gigantic cars who cannot park, drive or manoeuvre.
  4. People who say ‘years of age’ instead of ‘years old.’
  5. Upside down Xmas trees.
  6. Trains being cancelled.
  7. People who put their bags on the chairs on public transport.
  8. Perfume adverts.
  9. Mince Pies.
  10. Candid peel.
  11. Sprouts.
  12. People who eat with their mouths open.
  13. Fly tipping.
  14. Desiccated coconut.
  15. Chewing gum.
  16. Cheesy engagement photo shoots.
  17. Glitter ?!?!?
  18. Sleeping Selfies.
  19. Pouting selfies.
  20. Dick pics and general dick heads on dating websites.
  21. Food served on paper in pie dishes.
  22. Snow.
  23. The Sainsburys Xmas ad.
  24. The Debenhams Xmas ad.
  25. The Vodafone Xmas ad.

That’s all for another week folks.

Thanks for reading.

Another week, another moan.

Yesterday was Friday Rants and in honour of the Royal nuptials I decided to use a picture of our Sovereign looking pissed off. This was a brilliant week for rants. Here are the stats…

  1. 27 likes.
  2. 156 comments.
  3. 31 ranters taking part.
  4. 17 ranters new to the party.


My Rants

  1. People who hand wash their bras….who actually has time for this???
  2. Men who wear their jeans under their arses. It does not look ghetto…it makes you look like you have an abnormally long body and teeny tiny legs.
  3. People who post deliberately ambiguous status updates on Facebook e.g. ‘hmmmmmmmm.’ ‘Sad.’ ‘Happy.’

I feel the need to apologise for previous Rant posts. I have now decided on my format which hopefully won’t change during the coming weeks.

So, drumroll please… are the Rants. Rants in BOLD are reappearances of previous rants.

  1. People who pick themselves of public transport. Spots, split ends, noses.
  2. People who say ‘bless.’
  3. People who get really excited about the Royal family and what new outfit Kate Middleton is currently wearing.
  4. People who stop right in the entrance of the train once they have got on, thereby blocking the way for people behind them.
  5. People who ask conductors questions in rehearsals knowing that they are actually giving their colleagues a note.
  6. Virgin Trains.
  7. Singers who bring gallons of water to rehearsals.
  8. Gym selfies.
  9. Men who pick their noses at traffic lights.
  10. The music world.
  11. Men who pick their noses at the urinal and stick their bogies on the wall.
  12. Drivers who don’t thank you when you let them through.
  13. People on the tube who manage to make the act of turning pages of their newspaper into an expression of their repressed anger and resentment.
  14. Chewing gum.
  15. People who invent a hierarchy to give themselves status.
  16. People who ask questions that have just been asked.
  17. People who run their lives through a lazy stereotype.
  18. People who give you their opinion on everything when you have never asked what they think about ANYTHING.
  19. People who start a conversation by telling you what they think, then when you respond just say ‘no’ repeatedly over what you are trying to say.
  20. Hypocrites who are only interested in the good of the group when it works to their benefit.
  21. Hypocrites.
  22. People who have 2 very different ways of speaking to others depending on whether they consider them above or below themselves or for professional gain.
  23. Networking.
  24. People who congratulate performers publicly on social media in order to ‘get in on the act.’
  25. Girls who only wear a sports bra as a top at the gym.
  26. The fact that Hollywood and the gaming industry now mainly focuses on the formula of sequels and prequels of the same genre, thus stifling the creativity at the top end of the market.
  27. Lazy use of CGI.
  28. The fact that box-set-bingeing exacerbates minor-completion-addiction.
  29. Washing your recycling.
  30. People who don’t wash their recycling.
  31. overly complicated recycling rules.
  32. When their are no paper towels to wipe your hands at the petrol station.
  33. People who describe themselves as ‘blessed’ when they mean smug.
  34. Shops who hire beautiful but very thick people.
  35. Clare Balding on radio 2.
  36. Elaine Paige on radio 2.
  37. Easy peelers which are not.
  38. Easy Jet.
  39. Low lying sun which makes driving impossible.
  40. Having to clean up before the cleaner comes.
  41. People at work making comments that your food smells.
  42. People who don’t stop properly at lights and just ride the clutch.
  43. Having toast for brekkie and then leaving the butter out all day.
  44. People who sit on the outside seat of the train and then huff when you ask them to move their bags so you can sit down.
  45. People who don’t know the difference between their, there and they’re. And effect and affect.
  46. People who stop and chat just outside the shop door.
  47. Rubbish on the tubes.
  48. People (mainly men) who take up tons of room on the tube….spreading legs, using both arm rests.
  49. People who wear winter hats inside pubs.


Phew. Epic rants. As ever, numerous rants about public transport and people who get in the way of us busy people trying to get to wherever we need to go. I also wonder if social media has helped to turn us into grumpy arses. I am definitely becoming less tolerant and I am sure FB has a lot to do with it. Gone are the days when you would leave school/work, go home and not speak to anyone bar the people you live with until the next morning. FB, Twitter, Instagram are only ever a click away.

Anyway, happy grumping until next week.

The Best Kind of People by Zoe Whittall

My thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC of this novel.

There was no way that Whittall could have foreseen the timely publication of her third novel with the press about Harvey Weinstein. There is no denying that the idea of abuse by people in power is very relevant and at the forefront of people’s minds. With the birth of snap chat, Facebook etc I think as parents we have to be hyper vigilant with our children’s safety. It is said that children grow up too fast and as a parent this is definitely something I am aware of. Even at 4, my daughter is aware of make-up and handsome princes. 4 going on 34 and it is scary. God only knows what life will be like when she is 14 and has secrets. Terrifying.

The Best Kind of People is a novel about what happens when a loved, respected, even hero worshipped member of a small community, is accused of sexual impropriety. The novel doesn’t really dwell at all on the feelings of George Woodbury, the accused. Woodbury is the ‘best kind of People.’ He is a teacher from a wealthy family. Adored by his children and students and married to Joan, a hard working nurse.

I have to admit that I thought I had read books like this before but Whittall had a really fresh take on a well publicised topic. George is not a character that is developed and his trial is not dwelt on. The novel centres around the reactions and relationships of his family.

Avalon is a small town in Connecticut. The community are rocked by the accusations. To some, the Woodbury’s become social pariahs. To others, George is a victim, accused by overtly sexual and knowing girls to cover up their mistakes and poor judgement.

Sadie, his daughter is torn between the realisation that the father she loved is not the man she thought he was. One of the girls accusing George is the little sister of her best friend. She can’t bring herself to see her father and so moves in with her boyfriend Jimmy’s family. Here begins another uncomfortable relationship with the boyfriend of Jimmy’s mother. Sadie’s provocative behaviour, and smoking of marijuana to impress and seduce a much older man is both sinister and scary. Scary because it happens.

George’s son Andrew chooses to support his father. Coming out as gay in his small home town was traumatising for him and he was badly bullied. As a lonely teenager, he begins a clandestine relationship with his school coach. A man who is afraid of coming out as he knows what the reaction will be in his small town. Depressing, but it happens.

Joan, George’s wife is a great character. Herself a well loved and respected member of the community she has to come to terms with the fact that her husband had a separate life. Could she have done anything? Did she have her eyes closed the whole time? Only seeing what she wanted to see?

In a world where lines of proprietary are often blurred, how far do you have to go before it’s too far? Obviously George’s actions cannot be justified but how about a 17 year old boy and a teacher in his 20s? Yes without doubt an abuse of trust but is it as bad as a teacher in his 40s with a 12 year old? In the eyes of the law yes but is it the same? I think what Whittall is saying is that ‘even the best kind of people’ are capable of doing terrible things. The world is not black and white and particularly in this age of social media we have to be more aware of lines being crossed. This book really tackles the idea of power and sex and how easily it can be abused. The topic isn’t easy but I respect the fact that Whittall hasn’t shied away from the big issues we all should be aware of.

I am happy! Am I happy?

Mentally I am struggling at the moment. The hamster wheel seems to be turning much quicker than I can currently run and there have been a couple of times in the past week when I have fallen off. Bruised, embarrassed and ever so slightly mortified I have to brush myself down and jump right back on.

Generally I have what I call a Windscreen of Sanity (it’s pharmaceutical name is Citalolpram) which I use to con myself and others that I am doing ok. To be fair, the majority of the time, I usually am…doing ok. This week however, my windscreen seems to have developed a couple of hairline fractures which we all know, in winter can develop into full on cracks.

The first chip was last Saturday. It was my daughter’s 2nd birthday. In true Motherland style my husband was in Margate on a stag and my wonderful and very helpful in laws were down helping. I have had shows nearly every night and we were had an opening night that evening. I knew I was in a state when I was quaffing room temp, pink prosecco which I had won in a tombola, whilst searching in the bins for stickers which had been chucked out with the wrapping, and trying not to lose my shit with my MIL who wanted to know where the most useful place was to store the cheese grater. Needless to say, I lost my shit. I started crying and had to pretend to my daughter that it was because there were raw onions in the bin.

Chip 2 happened when a very good but often slightly aggressive friend took a joke the wrong way which upset me. I literally wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Anyway the hairline chips now feel like cracks and I am trying to claw my way out of the pit.

All very dramatic I know.

So, I decided to go against the grain and not do a Friday Rant on FB. Instead I did a Dig Deep Friday in which I asked people to name things which made them happy. Not saccharine things like kids, dogs and husbands but random things like getting your teeth cleaned at the hygienist and a good deoderant.

My happies were anchovies, capers, Parma ham, Riverdance and well shaved legs. The comments started rolling in….some really good ones:

1. Cups of tea with exactly the right amount of milk drunk at exactly the right temperature.

2. Baby puffins being called pufflings.

3. Bake off.

4. Muppet Christmas Carol

5. New PJs

6. Avoiding kids bathtime

7. Alpacas

8. Bacon

9. A new book.

All in all 76 comments. Funnily however, it left me and others feeling a little empty inside. It was slightly akin to that feeling you get on NYE when YOU MUST HAVE FUN! Maybe Friday Rants is a bit of reverse psychology. The feeling of getting a rant off your chest and others agreeing with you is brilliant. Maybe it’s because I am British and I love a moan but now when something annoying happens I jot it down and store it up until Friday when I know I can mention it on FB and it will be much less annoying and hopefully a little uplifting. Who doesn’t love a moan and who doesn’t love a moan with others agreeing? Anyway I think Dig Deep Fridays is a useful exercise and one I think I will post every 3 weeks. I already have a few happies written down which make me smile when I look through them.

Anyway what are your rants? What makes you smile?

Thanks so much for reading and have a good week.

Friday/Saturday Rants


Hi everyone.

Three weeks ago I was in a terrible mood. I had had one of those mornings where nothing was right. I had battled with both children and my husband, walked the dog in the rain and had my period. I hated the world and I felt the world hated me. I needed to rant. I needed to moan. So I did what every slightly mad person does and put it on Facebook.

My rant was this:

  1. People who say hubby and hollibobs.
  2. Really long hair. By this I mean REALLY long hair.
  3. People who are unable to close their mouths when they are in stand-by mode.
  4. People who talk on their speaker phone when they are on public transport.
  5. People who get on the tube without letting others off.

I know, I know it is controversial and risky putting this on FB but it made me feel better. Tons better. I was almost goading social media into an argument. It was liberating. Well who knew that this post would end up having 68 comments!!! I was flabbergasted. I was amazed and I also felt vindicated. People commented who I hadn’t heard from in ages. People LOVED Friday Rants. Other comments included:

  1. Sunglasses on the tube.
  2. Men who wear hats indoors.
  3. Trump.
  4. Shops that are constantly on sale.
  5. People walking whilst looking at their phones.
  6. People who pronounce ‘pneumonic’ when its ‘mnemonic.’
  7. People who say ‘like’ like all the time.
  8. Starting every sentence with ‘so…’

I honestly felt that I was bringing people together with this 1 day of bad-tempered ranting. I also realised that i was guilty of texting while walking and saying ‘like’ and ‘so’ all the time. This has given me something to work on….to hopefully become less annoying.

Anyway, how exhilarating to discover that half way through the week, people tried to add rants. NO NO NO Friday Rants only happen on a Friday. I don’t want to start a club of Moaning Myrtles. This is a one day a week thang.

So………….(stop it Els). Week 2. 71 comments. Wooohooo. People commented immediately….literally within seconds. Rants included:

  1. Slow moving people.
  2. Online shops when they make ridiculous substitution. ‘No we have run out of milk but we had substituted it with a CBeebies magazine.’ WTF that is an unacceptable substitution.
  3. People who stop right outside the exit of a tube station.
  4. Sweat.
  5. Your and you’re.
  6. Eating on the tube.
  7. Bubs.

Interestingly a lot of these rants involve public transport.

Week 3. 69 comments. Rants included:

  1. Couples who have conversations with eachother on FB.
  2. Parma Violets.
  3. Bourbon biscuits.
  4. The crying emoji being used to express sadness about something really serious.

Interestingly after week 3 people started to say that I should blog about it and maybe record a podcast. I have to say what, in theory sounds an idea which promotes moaning, it is really feel good. I am British. I adore a moan and so it seems does everyone else.

Week 4. Rants have been up for 3 hours and we are already on 64 comments. I have heard from a friend who I was at school with….18 years ago!!!! Rants is reuniting lost friends!!! It is interesting to note that British Rants revolve around people getting in the way (either by being slow, oblivious or, interestingly by being friendly) of where you need to get to. Also public transport comes us A LOT.

Rants included:

  1. Cashiers at supermarkets who start a pointless conversation with you when there is a queue and you are in a hurry. ‘No I do not want to chat about what I do with avocados. I AM IN A RUSH.’
  2. People who stay at the bar after buying a drink so you can’t get near it.
  3. People who stand on travelators. Unless you are elderly, disabled or pregnant WALK!
  4. Hashtags. ilovemyjobnofilter. Todaysoffice.
  5. Trump. (again)
  6. IKEA

Do you think in the Summer there will be less ranting? Do you think when it gets closer to Xmas there will be less ranting? I kinda hope not. So far, it has made me reconnect with friends i haven’t heard from in ages and people are enjoying it.

Happy/Ranty days

Just trying to keep up with life

Today is one of those days when I get on the tube and breathe a sigh of relief and then remember it is only Tuesday. How is it only Tuesday??? I feel like I have been running at 100mph so how can it only be Tuesday. Then I think ‘Come on Els. Don’t get too excited for the weekend. They aren’t how they used to be.’

Writing this, I now feel unbearably guilty that I have kids, a fab job, lovely family, husband, friends etc and still have low times. But this, I’m afraid is a low time. I can tell I’m low because the slightest thing added to my already full plate is enough to send me potty. This morning it was an email from Amazon reminding me to return an item. It is now all I can think about. I guess because the little things (like the amazon delivery) I feel I can control. It’s the Hamster Wheel of Life I feel that I have no control of and I just want to get off for 24 hours.

Every morning the same. Youngest child comes into our room and only wants me. This should be nice and I should love it but sometimes it’s just exhausting. Eldest child has the same strops I used to have as a child….my tights are uncomfortable, my hair has bumps. There is a scene in Sing (which we watch every day) when Rosita the knackered-mum-pig makes a recording of herself so she can leave the house and do something she wants to do. That’s what I feel like doing for the morning routine. I swear I say literally the same thing everyday at exactly the same time. 7:52 is the row about tights and 8:01 is the row about bumps in hair. Eventually they look presentable and we head downstairs to have a row about breakfast. “No you can’t have f&@£ing chocolate cake.” 10 minutes later….”f£&k it. Have chocolate cake but make sure you have a banana with it.” We leave the house. Youngest child is insistent on bringing a telephone on a string everywhere we go…consequently we are late. Have I mentioned that I still haven’t had a shower and I have last night’s dream dribble crusted around my mouth????

Finally I get on the tube to work and I start breathing again. Wow. Sometimes I feel like I’ve totally got it. Other times I feel like I am just pretending and I need someone to lock me in a room for 24 hours where I can just rock and hum random tunes to myself. The funny thing is, that this 100mph living becomes the norm. Almost a habit, so it becomes almost impossible to relax even when I have the time to.

I guess this is why blogging helps. For the last 15 minutes I have ranted at my 30 followers and I now feel better. So thanks guys and if any of the rest of you feel like exhausted hamsters, please know you are not alone and I feel your pain.