Rants Week 4.

Hello ranters. How is everyone? I am currently sat in my sitting room, blogging and watching Home Alone. Life is good.

So here are the FB Rants from yesterday.

Here are the stats:

  1. 124 comments
  2. 29 likes
  3. 26 Ranters
  4. 2 new Rant Virgins.

MY RANTS

  1. People who don’t know the rules. STAND ON THE RIGHT YOU NIPPLES!
  2. British people who use American spellings. Its ‘mum’ not ‘mom.’
  3. I say it again and I’m afraid this is a long one………….. People who talk on speaker phone on public transport. I am sad to have to bring this up again as the message of Rants is clearly not ridding the world of these annoying plonkers fast enough. So, to those who blatantly continue to flaunt the rules….STOP IT! I have no urge to listen to you shouting into your phone and to some idiot replying to you. The function of speaker phone is to allow us to multi task. It allows us to change nappies, wash floors, watch TV when on hold to mobile phone companies, SKY TV or the bank. So we can continue our lives to the glorious Muzak soundtrack (Flower Duet sung by the fat/blind/deaf sob story who won X Factor) and still not miss our place in the queue. It is not to have discussions about your dinner options on the bus. No one else wants to hear your conversation.
  4. When you buy jeans off the internet that are meant to make you look thin. But they don’t. And you can’t be arsed to take them back. So you wear them. And feel fat. And hate yourself.
  5. Glitter and sequins….they are all over my house at the moment.

 

THE RANTS. Rants in BOLD are reappearances of previous rants.

  1. When you order something from Amazon which you think is the size it looks in the photograph, but when it arrives, it is actually in miniature.
  2. Public transport being late.
  3. Hat hair.
  4. When you put your hair in a bun and then you can’t wear a hat.
  5. Meals for one that couldn’t sustain a guinea pig.
  6. Massive, mainly empty, misleading packaging.
  7. People who try to sell you something but stubbornly avoid telling you the price.
  8. People who ask what you are doing at a certain time, without telling you why they are asking. Most applicable to people trying to book you for gigs on the cheap.
  9. When people accuse you of being chauvinistic or a feminist when your difference of opinion has nothing to do with gender.
  10. Companies that change something and claim it is to improve your user experience. It is not about my experience it is about your insurance.
  11. When people ask what you did at the weekend….not because they care but so they can tell you what they did.
  12. When a company phones you up and asks you security questions. I don’t know who you are. YOU phoned ME. Maybe I should be asking YOU some security questions.
  13. When you fancy someone and they hate you.
  14. Trying clothes on in changing rooms.
  15. Changing rooms that are badly lit and make you look dreadful.
  16. Pitta bread. has anyone managed to cut one open and fill it without it tearing and contents splurging out.
  17. Balding men who won’t accept their hair is thinning so have ugly haircuts.
  18. When you visit your parents and revert to being a horrid, teenage brat even though you are 35.
  19. Iphone batteries.
  20. People who write ‘loosing’ when they mean ‘losing’ need to get loost.
  21. Adults on scooters.
  22. Adults on skateboards.
  23. Airy fairy singing on adverts. This is particularly rife at Xmas.
  24. The annual family interrogation at Xmas. “no husband, hose, kids??’ etc.
  25. Made up trendy food intolerances.
  26. People who name drop.
  27. Passive agression.
  28. People who put sweet wrappers back in the tim.
  29. Ed Sheeran.
  30. News alerts on your phone that disappear as soon as you touch them.
  31. People who use lifts when they don’t need to.
  32. Getting electric shocks in public.
  33. People who wander around department stores getting in everyone’s way with their slowness and lack of direction.
  34. Covers of Joni Mitchell….she can’t be beaten.
  35. Prosecco….and the prosecco life style…..’I don’t get drunk on prosecco, I get fabulous.’ It just sweet, fizzy wine. GET OVER IT!
  36. When your contact lenses refuse to go in.
  37. Sam Smith’s face.
  38. ‘This train is being held at the is stop to regulate the service.’
  39. It’s and its.
  40. In the opening scene of Love Actually, a man is carrying a xmas tree from Waterloo to Westminster 5 weeks before Xmas. WHERE IS HE TAKING THAT TREE?
  41. Perfume and aftershave adverts.
  42. People who refer to their youngest child as ‘the baby’ even when said child is 6.
  43. Cars with eyelashes on the headlights.
  44. Ring pulls that break on cans of beans.
  45. Mobile phone reception.
  46. People who sit next to you on public transport with no sense of personal space.
  47. Vaping in public spaces.

 

WOW WOW WOW! 47 rants. 22 more than last week. Are we all getting rantier because it is the season of goodwill????

 

 

 

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