September beauty.

Hi all. So goodbye Summer and hello Autumn. From a beauty point of view that makes me happy. Rich creams, facial oils, minimal leg shaving and no fake tan.

September has been a good month beauty wise. Tons of products which I will keep in my routine.

  • 1 HIT WONDER
  • CLEANSING CONDITIONER – £6.99

As a frazzled mum of two, I am always on the look out for a product that can work a miracle….basically make me look anything better than shite but, and most importantly, in minimal time. I find hair care an issue. I have short, wavy hair. As a mum, the question is ‘when to wash it?’ Before kids I would have a lush, long, leisurely shower every morning. Now, showering usually involves me getting out half way to put a child on a potty. Occasionally, I have a shower at night but I wake up in the morning looking like I have put my finger in a plug and also I would prefer a bath. The alternative is doing it quickly in the morning, and doing the school run with wet hair. By the time I arrive home, I look like Brienne of Tarth after a particularly bloody battle.

Then I discovered ‘co-washing.’ It isn’t showering with someone. It’s basically skipping shampoo and using only conditioner. For the last week I have been using Noughty 1 HIT WONDER

CLEANSING CONDITIONER – £6.99. It’s wicked. You put it on for 3 mins and wash it off. I thought my hair would feel a bit claggy but it looks basically like 2 day old hair-when it’s not so frizzy and flyaway. I also think that for someone with dry, curly hair that is straightened within an inch of its life, it’s good to give the old barnet a break. So yes, top product, good results and makes showering super speedy!

I am a sweaty lady. I come from a long like of perspiring women. My mum always used to say ‘women don’t sweat, they glow darling.’ Nope she is wrong. I sweat. I am without a doubt the sweatiest mum in the playground. I often combine my moist face with sports gear so at least people think I have come from a hot and heavy work out session. When my Latest in Beauty box arrived with these two treats I thought this might be the holy grail I have been waiting for. This is a brand ‘with active women in mind. With products that work as hard as you do.’ Sports FX cool down primer (£9.99) feels instantly cool when you put it on your face. Sort of like putting Original Mint Source on your face. This feeling lasted until I put my foundation on which was lovely. Can’t say it took the redness down but my skin looked really healthy and radiant. Skin felt a little tacky but bloody hell, not a bead of sweat in sight. It even covered up my bottomless pit pores! The Mist and Fix (£7.99) is just as good. It really is a mist….I seem to have used a lot that are actually sprays which just adds more moisture to my already sweaty and damp face. This is a really light, cooling mist that leaves my skin feeling really hydrated. Brill products that are great value for money.

I am sorry to admit that I have been enjoying one too many glasses of wine in recent weeks. That, combined with my very interrupted nights (snoring husband, coughing youngest daughter and night terrors eldest) basically means I look pretty rough and rancid. So face masks. I honestly haven’t the time or inclination to lounge around with the mud of the Ganges on my face so my beauty treatments have to work when I’m either asleep or they have to be unnoticeable enough that I can wear them on the school run. Yes you read that correctly. I often do a mask on the school run. The Renu Flash Relax Mask (£23.40) is transparent. I smear it on in the morning whilst bribing my kids to eat and then wash it off when I get back from dropping the little darlings off. Defo makes my skin look hydrated and brighter. Next is the Oh-k Sleep Mask (£6.00). The Koreans know the drill when it comes to beauty treatments. Firstly I love the fact that this sachet has enough for at least 6 uses. Smear it on after your usual skincare drill and go to sleep. Skin feels gorgeous in the morning. All dry patches gone. I think it would be brill to take on a flight to prevent air con dryness. Lastly Espa overnight hydration therapy (£37.00). I bang on about this one a lot and that is because it is bloody marvellous. After a night with this on my face I feel tremendous. Skin glowy, dewy and almost like I have had over 6 hrs sleep. It should be a mum beauty staple and it would be the one product I would save in a fire!!!

Morning all. My beauty post this week is a big shout out to Dr Organic. It suddenly struck me that I have a lot of DR O products and I have never been disappointed by them. Easy to get hold of from Holland and Barrett, DR O use natural ingredients which are all cruelty free and vegetarian. The Dead Sea Mineral Face Wash (£8.29) is lovely. It lasts ages and doesn’t make my skin tight. Moroccan Glow Body Polish (£3.00) is a fab grlitty scrub that gets rid of all the scaly bits but leaves skin soft. Snail Gel Facial Serum (£18.99) has left my skin clear and glowy. No snails are harmed 😂 they basically use the mucus. Don’t be put off it really works. My one draw back to this product is it smells of twinnings lemon and ginger tea which takes me back to being in the full throws of hypermesis gravidarum. I get over my aversion to the smell because the serum is so good. Anything that can give this knackered mum a glow for under £20 is a hit in my book.

Thank you for reading and see you next month. See more updates on instagram @ellamkpbooks.

Children’s Reads for September

I have decided from now on to do something different with my blog. Each month,  I am going to focus on books whose authors were born or died during that month. There will be some exceptions like when I have a specific book to review or I am just so excited to share a book with you all. I will also be doing this in my posts about adult books. One thing I have noticed, is that with a lot of modern book releases, it is hard to find a date of birth of some authors, so apologies that during some months, I may have to bend the rules.

  • Jane Hissey. 1st September 1952.
  • Ruff

A woolly dog bounces into the playroom with no name and no home. But worst of all, he says he has never had a birthday! Luckily, Old Bear and the other toys are bursting with brilliant birthday ideas for their new-found friend.

I remember reading these books with my sister when we were children. Picking them up again 30 years on and they haven’t aged at all. Both my girls enjoyed the books – Edith (5) more than Ceci (3). The pictures are absolutely stunning and Edie loved reading about Old Bear and Ruff to her school of toys.

  • Julia Donaldson. 16th September
  • The Snail and the Whale

One little snail longs to see the world and hitches a lift on the tail of an enormous whale. Together they go on an amazing journey, past icebergs and volcanoes, sharks and penguins, and the little snail feels so small in the vastness of the world. But when disaster strikes and the whale is beached in a bay, it’s the tiny snail’s big plan that saves the day!

I think The Snail and the Whale is one of my fave Donaldson books. I love the sentiment that no matter how small you are, you can still do amazing, brave things. Also how humbling it is to be aware of the size and magnificence of our planet. Its impossible to mention Julia Donaldson without a massive nod to Axel Scheffler. I say his name and a rock star image is conjured up…..Axl Rose. Scheffler is nowt like Axl Rose 😂. His illustrations are completely epic. Really engaging and there are always lovely little details to spot. Ceci (2) loved looking for the tiny snail in every picture.

  • The Detective Dog

There once was a dog with a keen sense of smell.
She was known far and wide as Detective Dog Nell.

Peter’s dog Nell has an amazing sense of smell. Her ever-sniffing nose is always hard at work solving mysteries and finding all Peter’s lost toys. But Nell has other talents too . . .

When she’s not cracking cases, Nell goes to school with Peter and listens to the children read. Books about dinosaurs, books about space and even books about dogs – Nell loves them all! But one day Peter and Nell arrive at school to find all the books have disappeared! Who could have taken them, and why? Luckily, Detective Dog Nell, with help from the whole class, is ready to sniff out the thief!

Written by Julia Donaldson and illustrated by the multi-talented illustrator and print-maker Sara Ogilvie, The Detective Dog is a fast-paced celebration of books, reading, libraries and the relationship between a little boy and his rather special dog.

The story is about Nell the Detective Dog who helps a class hunt down a book thief. Ted (the thief) is overjoyed to discover that he can borrow books for free from his library. His stealing days are over!!!

Any book that promotes the use of libraries is top banana! As children, my sister and I were taken to the library a lot. As a mum, I go at least once a week…storytime, rhyme time and just taking books out. I remember, as a child being so excited to take 8 books home. Playing librarians was a common childhood game. I used to be intrigued by the barcode scanner….this has now lost its joy when I am standing at the self checkout in Sainsbury’s and the scanner goes on the blink.

For a book to be a hit for Edie and Ceci, the story has to be fast paced, exciting, brilliant pictures with tons to look at and it is a massive bonus if the word ‘poo’ appears. ‘Poo’ makes an appearance on page 2 so my discerning girls are happy. Is is also important to say that Sarah Ogilvie’s pictures are fab with tons to spot. Brilliant book. Happy Birthday Month Julia Donaldson!

  • Eric Hill September 7th.

Eric Hill OBE. What a legend. Born in 1927. The Spot books have been translated into 60 languages. It is reported that he said “children have far more intelligence and style than many adults credit them with.”

This book is a special copy for me. My dad bought it for my eldest daughter Edith, on a shopping trip. It means so much because it is always Nana who spoils my children, bringing them presses and cakes. This was a gift chosen by ‘Pampa’ with no input from Nana, so to me, it is very special.

  • The Bear and the Piano by David Litchfield.

One day, a young bear stumbles upon something he has never seen before in the forest. As time passes, he teaches himself how to play the strange instrument, and eventually the beautiful sounds are heard by a father and son who are picnicking in the woods. The bear goes with them on an incredible journey to New York, where his piano playing makes him a huge star. He has fame, fortune and all the music in the world, but he misses the friends and family he has left behind. A moving tale of exploration and belonging from an exciting debut author-illustrator.

This book is very loved in our family. My sister bought it for Edith and it has been one of those books that I buy for all my friend’s children. The sentiment behind the story is beautiful: your true friends will support and encourage you in your talents without envy. Your true friends will let you spread your wings and fly and when your heart leads you home, your family will be there with open arms. Edie, Ceci and I had a funny chat about things that make us so happy you forget where you are….Edie – sweets and Ceci – her dummy. Nothing as profound as music. 😂. As an over emotional musician, I find the book ridiculously moving. Edie tells me off for crying at the end! The illustrations are so beautiful. Can’t wait to read the next book The Bear, the piano, the dog and the fiddle.

  • Hide and Seek by Taro Gomi

In the tradition of classic hidden pictures, international favorite Taro Gomi slyly infuses his dynamic original art with objects that don’t go where they belong. A crocodile’s grin is a toothbrush; a butterfly’s dots are hearts. Young readers will delight to find the unexpected treasures hidden in the brightly coloured illustrations.

My little Cecilia/ceci/Cilla. I can’t say she lives in her sister’s shadow. Ceci is a force to be reckoned with, but when it comes to choosing the films we watch or the books we read, her older sister often overrules. At 3, she has grow out of the brilliant That’s not my….series and the constant asking for Peppa does get a little boring. Ceci does however love this book by Taro Gomi. Gomi is a very famous Japanese author. Ceci loves spotting the everyday objects hidden in the animals . If you are ever looking for a good book for a little one, give this a go.

  • Dr Seuss. Died 24th September 1991.
  • Horton Hears a Who

Horton the kindly elephant has his work cut out saving the tiny Whos who live on a speck of dust – no one else believes they are there! But Horton eventually convinces everyone that, ‘a person’s a person, no matter how small’!

‘A person’s a person, no matter how small..’

Horton the elephant sets out to save the inhabitants of a speck of dust, in this classic and hilarious tale about friendship and respect, from the inimitable Dr. Seuss.

Born Theodore Seuss “Ted” Geisel in 1904, he wrote and illustrated over 60 children’s books. In our house Horton is a massive favourite. Edie loves the book and the Jim Carrey film. The message in the book ‘a person’s a person no matter how small’ combined with the idea that if people work together as a group they have the strength to change things is so important and relevant to teach to our children.

Hilariously, the Grinch cartoon is on our tv very frequently. It is watched at least once a month so we feel festive all year round. Edie is obsessed with the scene when the grinch does his massive smile. Dr Seuss you are a legend. Thank you.

  • T.S. Eliot. 26th September
  • Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats.

Happy 130th Birthday T.S. Eliot. Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats was written in 1939. Cats was one of the first shows I ever saw in the West End. I remember the band starting and literally just crying I was so excited. I remember really wanting to be the white cat. I found it on YouTube the other day and Edie was utterly entranced. She now knows all the words to Jellicle Cats. For me though, Gus is my favourite. I bought this book, illustrated by the legendary Axel Scheffler quite recently. It’s a brilliant way to get kids into poetry.

Happy Birthday to Stan Berenstain. One half of the Stan and Jan duo who wrote the Berenstain Bears. I think these books might be relatively rare over here in the UK. My sister and I discovered them when we were children and we were on holiday in Canada. Our older cousins loved them. Interestingly, they were inspired by the Dr Seuss books. The Berenstain’s wanted to write a series which focused on the issues parents faced. They were criticised for not moving with the times but I think this is part of the charm. Too Much Birthday has a very special place in my heart and is a phrase my parents used to use when we got a bit over emotional at our parties. Edie loved it as she is the same age as Sister Bear. She now wants a birthday party with ponies and a carousel. I remember feeling exactly the same after reading it at her age.

Thank you so much for reading. See more updates on Instagram @ellamkpbooks. Next month, I am going to combine some birthday reads with some spooky favourites. Edith loves a good scare.

September reads

Hi all and Happy Autumn. I for one am pleased that Summer is coming to an end. I love shorter days and longer nights…perfect for curling up with a good book.

1. Kindred by Octavia Butler. 5⭐️.

  • Description: slavery, gender issues, time travel.

In 1976, Dana dreams of being a writer. In 1815, she is assumed a slave.

When Dana first meets Rufus on a Maryland plantation, he’s drowning. She saves his life – and it will happen again and again.

Neither of them understands his power to summon her whenever his life is threatened, nor the significance of the ties that bind them.

And each time Dana saves him, the more aware she is that her own life might be over before it’s even begun.

It is a rare thing that I give a book 5⭐️ but I was completely blown away by Kindred. It had been on my Book shelf for absolutely ages and I admit I was a little put off at the prospect of reading another book about slavery. I was wrong. Octavia Butler’s book is unlike any I have ever read before. The fact that the the story is told from the point of view of Dana, a modern woman who goes back in time to the antebellum south makes it so very powerful. Slavery, when witnessed through Dana’s eyes is somehow so much more brutal and upsetting. It is honestly the most powerful description of slavery that I have ever read. The fact that the novel is often classified as science fiction initially put me off somewhat. Slavery and Science fiction???? Weird mix. For me, this novel is historical fiction. The aspect of time travel, is really not a big deal and is only used as a means to get Dana back to Maryland in the 1800s. Butler is so clever. In the present day, Dana (a black woman) is married to a white man. Back in Maryland this would obviously be completely unheard of. This idea of gender and identity really interested me. The novel was published in 1979 and it doesn’t seem to have aged at all. If you are interested in American History this is a book that should definitely be read and is one I will be recommending to everyone.

I have a book addiction which I’m sure many of you understand. My issue is that my husband thinks that the books on the shelves are the only books I own. He doesn’t realise that they are spilling out of all the drawers and in the cupboards. I pretty much buy books constantly. There are two issues with this. 1. Storage. 2. I only ever read my recent purchases. I have books on my shelves that have been there for proper yonks. This is going to stop! 🛑 ✋. From now on, each month I am going to read books written by authors who have their birthdays or deaths that month. 🎉🍰 .Birthday reads. Death reads.

2. The Brutal Art by Jesse Kellerman. 4⭐️.

  • Jesse Kellerman born 1st September.
  • Description: family ties, mystery, art.

Ethan Muller is struggling to establish his reputation as a dealer in the cut-throat world of contemporary art when he is alerted to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: in a decaying New York slum, an elderly tenant has disappeared, leaving behind a staggeringly large trove of original drawings and paintings. Nobody can tell Ethan much about the old man, except that he came and went in solitude for nearly forty years, his genius hidden and unacknowledged. Despite the fact that, strictly speaking, the artwork doesn’t belong to him, Ethan takes the challenge and makes a name for the old man – and himself. Soon Ethan has to congratulate himself on his own genius: for storytelling and salesmanship. But suddenly the police are interested in talking to him. It seems that the missing artist had a nasty past, and the drawings hanging in the Muller Gallery have begun to look a lot less like art and a lot more like evidence. Sucked into an investigation four decades cold, Ethan will uncover a secret legacy of shame and death, one that will touch horrifyingly close to home – and leave him fearing for his own life.

Well I am clearly sitting on a gold mine. This book has been on my shelf for 10 years. Thanks to Birthday reads, I finally took it down and I am so pleased I did. I really enjoyed it. This is almost a bit of a family saga which is great as Kellerman is able to create characters you care about and are really intrigued by. Initially I thought the protagonist was quite unlikeable but he really grew on me. The novel also centred around the Modern Art industry. Something I know nothing about but found really interesting. Some of Kellerman’s descriptions of pieces of art were really quite funny. I have included Deathbucks because it made me laugh. Happy Birthday Jesse Kellerman. Sorry I neglected you for so long.

I will definitely be reading more of you.

3. Deception by Roald Dahl. 4⭐️

  • Roald Dahl born 13th September.
  • Description: short stories, sinister, utterly varied subject matter.

‘The cruelest lies are often told in silence . . .’

Why do we lie? Why do we deceive those we love most? What do we fear revealing? In these ten tales of deception master storyteller Roald Dahl explores our tireless efforts to hide the truth about ourselves.

Here, among many others, you’ll read about how to get away with the perfect murder, the old man whose wagers end in a most disturbing payment, how revenge is sweeter when it is carried out by someone else and the card sharp so good at cheating he does something surprising with his life.

Happy Birthday to the total legend that is Roald Dahl. I adored his books as a child and now I am lucky enough to be reading his stories to Edie who thinks they are amazing. They don’t seem in any way dated. In the last couple of months I have also read 2 of his short story collections. If you are ever in a reading slump, reach for a collection of short stories. Kiss Kiss and Deception were utterly brilliant. Dahl’s imagination is genius and his range of topics is MASSIVE. I have added a couple of snippets from Deception. One is a quick one liner about the rich and the weather and the other about facial hair. Anyway Mr Dahl, Happy Birthday. I will be raising a glass to you tonight.

4. Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney 4⭐️.

  • Description: affair, arts world, friendship.

WINNER OF THE SUNDAY TIMES / PFD YOUNG WRITER OF THE YEAR
SHORTLISTED FOR THE DYLAN THOMAS PRIZE 2018
SHORTLISTED FOR THE KERRY GROUP IRISH NOVEL OF THE YEAR 2018
SHORTLISTED FOR THE DESMOND ELLIOT PRIZE 2018
SHORTLISTED FOR THE RATHBONES FOLIO PRIZE 2018
A SUNDAY TIMES, OBSERVER AND TELEGRAPH BOOK OF THE YEAR

Frances is twenty-one years old, cool-headed and observant. A student in Dublin and an aspiring writer, at night she performs spoken word with her best friend Bobbi, who used to be her girlfriend. When they are interviewed and then befriended by Melissa, a well-known journalist who is married to Nick, an actor, they enter a world of beautiful houses, raucous dinner parties and holidays in Provence, beginning a complex ménage-à-quatre. But when Frances and Nick get unexpectedly closer, the sharply witty and emotion-averse Frances is forced to honestly confront her own vulnerabilities for the first time.

This book took me about 75 pages to get into but now it is finished I genuinely feel like I am saying goodbye to a friend. Ok, so it’s not a book for those with high moral standing, it’s not a book with particularly likeable characters but it is a little like sitting in a coffee shop and eavesdropping on a really interesting conversation. Initially, I was frustrated with Rooney’s complete disregard of speech marks but actually I think it creates a much more intimate way of writing. Definitely give it a read if you like relationships that are a little bit messy and people who are a little bit complicated. Aren’t we all?!?!?

5. The Dinner by Herman Koch. 3.5⭐️

  • Herman Koch born 5th September .
  • Description: pretentious restaurant, protecting your child, violence.

The Dinner by Herman Koch. Born September 5th in the Netherlands. This book was a solid 3.5 stars from me. I have read reviews calling it the European Gone Girl or a ‘not as good’ We Need To Talk About Kevin. This must be sooooooo annoying as an author. Just because there is an unreliable narrator and a child who commits a crime, comparisons are made when a book is not really that comparable. This is a really well written book with a brilliant and original idea. The whole novel takes place during the course of a dinner in a massively pretentious restaurant. Koch immediately had me on side because he made me laugh. The descriptions of the affected waiter pointing with his ‘pinkie’, the minuscule portion sizes and ridiculous ingredients were absolutely brilliant and incredible well observed. The fact that Koch uses the meal and arrival of each course to interrupt the drama of the story and the characters was a really interesting and original idea. I don’t want to say much about the plot to avoid spoilers. Descriptions of violent acts were pretty vivid and at times, quite hard to read. The characters were ALL unlikable. This was definitely worth a read if only for the giggles you will get about the pretentious meal. So Happy Birthday Mr Koch.

6. The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah. DNF.

  • Kristen Hannah born 25th September.

The New York Times number one bestselling title.

Bravery, courage, fear and love in a time of war.

Despite their differences, sisters Viann and Isabelle have always been close. Younger, bolder Isabelle lives in Paris while Viann is content with life in the French countryside with her husband Antoine and their daughter. But when the Second World War strikes, Antoine is sent off to fight and Viann finds herself isolated so Isabelle is sent by their father to help her.

As the war progresses, the sisters’ relationship and strength is tested. With life changing in unbelievably horrific ways, Viann and Isabelle will find themselves facing frightening situations and responding in ways they never thought possible as bravery and resistance take different forms in each of their actions.

Vivid and exquisite in its illumination of a time and place that was filled with atrocities, but also humanity and strength, Kristin Hannah’s The Nightingale will provoke thought and discussion that will have readers talking long after they finish reading.

I gave up!!!!!! This is obviously controversial as I know this is a massively popular book. I hate it when a book that loads of people love leaves me cold. I actually feel guilty. So I got to page 88 and it was fine but just a bit ‘meh.’ My main issue was Isabelle who I wanted to punch in the face and I definitely would have done if I had been Vianne. Vianne, the sister who is desperately trying to keep her daughter alive while Isabelle is being the tempestuous, volatile yet beautiful (all a little ‘characters by numbers’ for me) younger sister does all in her power to antagonise the Nazi’s. SHUT UP ISABELLE.

7. A Visit From The Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. 3⭐️

  • Jennifer Egan born 7th September.
  • Description: 13 stories, music industry, aging, loss of innocence

This novel was the winner of the 2011 Pulitzer Prize. Is it a collection of short stories or a novel? Although Egan published a few as individual stories, she views the collection as a novel. Each of the 13 chapters involves interrelated stories with the majority of the characters somehow connected to the record exec Bennie Salazar. This book worked for me until about halfway through. In fact, it was the chapter Selling the General that made me lose faith. I think by then, the characters that I wanted to reappear weren’t going to and I basically stopped caring. It all became a little too random for me. I did however love this quote about being ‘real.’

Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a lovely October.

See more updates on Instagram @ellamkpbooks

August Beauty. Hit, miss or maybe

Top month of products in August. All HITS and 1 MAYBE.

HIT

    Dr Organic. Aloe Vera Skin Lotion. £7.50
  • I think this has to be the product of our summer holiday. I packed it for our trip to Lanzarote and during the trip I noticed it went crazy quickly. My husband was the culprit. What you should know about my husband is that he is very low maintenance. He has literally no skin care regimen and still has skin that is baby soft and lime free. This is a man who gets a pot of Nivea for Xmas and he thinks it is posh. He often goes for months without a haircut. Vain he is not so when he told me that he thought this moisturiser was the bees knees I felt I had to take note. His reasons???? It’s really thick and moisturising and really soothed sunburned skin. After a few skin cancer scares on his side of the family, fear of sun burn is major for him. He felt that if he put this moisturiser on at night after he had a bit too much sun, his skin felt soothed and in the morning the redness was gone. He was right. The cream feels very thick and luxurious and a little does go a long way. A definite hit from us!!!
    • Dr Dennis Gross alpha beta medi-spa peel. £34 for 4 treatments. £61 for 8.

    Firstly I want to say that I had a free sample of this.I originally put this product in the maybe category. £61 is punchy….but at 37 should I be forking our for expensive products if they do the job?? Two days after using I have placed my order. This is a definite hit!!!!!

    This product was really easy to use. Firstly you wipe the pad (which looks like a make up wipe covered in foundation) all over your face. This pad is the acid concentrate. It smells slightly like bananas and lemons. Strange combo. It makes my face feel slightly tingly but not uncomfortable so. After 3-5 mins you apply the firming peptide milk.

    Immediately after use, skin looked brighter and pores appeared tightened. I read a brill reviewer by a lady who cut the pads in half so she got double the amount. This could easily be done as the pad was heavily saturated with the fluid and also it is only a weekly application.

    • Chanel Bronzing Make-up Bass. £40
  • Thanks to Beauty subscriptions and my job it is very rare I buy my own products. I realise this makes me very lucky but it does often mean that in trying to use up what I acquire, I often wear colours that don’t particularly suit me. Bronzer is definitely one of them. It takes bloody ages to use up bronzer and the one I own is a particularly dark shade of brown. Because of this I have used it very sparingly and as a result, it has now been in my make up bag for 3 years. Imagine my joy when I opened my case from holiday to find it had cracked and I had no choice but to throw it away. Hallelujah!!!! I quickly Googled ‘Best bronzer’ and this product came up. Yup the price was punchy but remember I haven’t bought a bronzer in at least 3 years so I thought I’d treat myself.
  • This stuff is superb!!!!!!! I bloody love it. Best product I have used in years.
  • Firstly I would say that the colour is deceiving. It looks quite dark but is light when you put it on so you can build it up. I use a powder brush and although the consistency is between a gel and a mousse, the brush doesn’t get clogged like it does with a foundation. The colour is beautiful and warm and looks so, so natural. I also love the texture….no more broken powders in my bag. On the skin it feels really light and finish is matte but not in anyway heavy. It even covers my broken pores.
  • Buy buy buy!!!
  • Maybe

    • L’Occitane Precious Cleansing Foam. £19.00
  • Lovely product and it seems to last for ages. The foam feels quite thick and substantial which is great as I often find foams a little thin. On contact with water, the foam becomes lovely and creamy. Even though it is perfumed it doesn’t irritate and my skin doesn’t feel tight after use. My only reservation is that it’s a little expensive.
  • Anyway until next month.
  • Thanks for reading .
  • August Reads

    Well I am well and truly out of my slump. Really positive month. 8 books read in total. 2 of those not finished. 1 non fiction. Also some really good children’s books.

    No major plans for September although I do want to read Sally Rooney’s Conversations with Friends before I embark on Normal People for our October book club.

    I am also planning a month of scary reads in October so I am enjoying researching those. What are the scariest books you have ever read including non fiction?

    • 1. Kiss kiss by Roald Dahl. 5*

    Description: short stories, varied, weird.

    In Kiss Kiss you will find eleven devious, shocking stories from the master of the unpredictable, Roald Dahl.

    What could go wrong when a wife pawns the mink coat that her lover gave her as a parting gift? What happens when a priceless piece of furniture is the subject of a deceitful bargain? Can a wronged woman take revenge on her dead husband?

    In these dark, disturbing stories Roald Dahl explores the sinister side of human nature: the cunning, sly, selfish part of each of us that leads us into the territory of the unexpected and unsettling. Stylish, macabre and haunting, these tales will leave you with a delicious feeling of unease.

    ‘Roald Dahl is one of the few writers I know whose work can accurately be described as addictive’ Irish Times

    Roald Dahl, the brilliant and worldwide acclaimed author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, and many more classics for children, also wrote scores of short stories for adults. These delightfully disturbing tales have often been filmed and were most recently the inspiration for the West End play, Roald Dahl’s Twisted Tales by Jeremy Dyson. Roald Dahl’s stories continue to make readers shiver today.

    I ADORED this book. What a total legend Roald Dahl is. His imagination completely blows my brain. I can’t imagine another author who can pull off such a varied range of stories with such aplomb. Antique hunting, poaching, sexually frustrated vicars, scary b&bs, revenge on a husband. Each time I embarked upon a new story I had no idea of what to expect and each time I was surprised and intrigued.

    • 2. Shanghai Girls by Lisa See. 4.5*

    Description: sibling rivalry, trigger for rape, arranged marriage.

    Shanghai, 1937. Pearl and May are two sisters from a bourgeois family. Though their personalities are very different – Pearl is a Dragon sign, strong and stubborn, while May is a true Sheep, adorable and placid – they are inseparable best friends. Both are beautiful, modern and living a carefree life until the day their father tells them that he has gambled away the family’s wealth, and that in order to repay his debts he must sell the girls as wives to two ‘Gold Mountain’ men: Americans. As Japanese bombs fall on their beloved city, the two sisters set out on the journey of a lifetime, one that will take them through the villages of southern China, in and out of the clutches of brutal soldiers, and even across the ocean, through the humiliation of an anti-Chinese detention centre to a new, married life in Los Angeles’ Chinatown. Here they begin a fresh chapter, despite the racial discrimination and anti-Communist paranoia, because now they have something to strive for: a young, American-born daughter, Joy. Along the way there are terrible sacrifices, impossible choices and one devastating, life-changing secret, but through it all the two heroines of this astounding new novel by Lisa See hold fast to who they are – Shanghai girls.

    Oooooooh I really enjoyed this and I also read a review in Goodreads which said that the book makes more sense if you read the sequel Dreams of Joy. I am so pleased there is a sequel. I so enjoyed the characters, I know returning to them will be comforting.

    This book had everything I love:

    1. A period of history in a country I know little about- Shanghai in the 1930s and LA in the 40s and 50s
    2. A family saga. Relationships between siblings, parents and partners.
    3. Drama.

    This really is a book you can sink your teeth into. The subject of immigration is still so incredibly relevant today: particularly in Trump’s America.

    • 3. See what I have done by Sarah Schmidt. DNF

    Longlisted for the Women’s Prize for Fiction 2018

    Haunting, gripping and gorgeously written, SEE WHAT I HAVE DONE by Sarah Schmidt is a re-imagining of the unsolved American true crime case of the Lizzie Borden murders, for fans of BURIAL RITES and MAKING A MURDERER.

    ‘Eerie and compelling’ Paula Hawkins

    ‘Stunning’ Sunday Times

    ‘Gripping… outstanding’ Observer

    ‘Glittering’ Irish Times

    Just after 11am on 4th August 1892, the bodies of Andrew and Abby Borden are discovered. He’s found on the sitting room sofa, she upstairs on the bedroom floor, both murdered with an axe.

    It is younger daughter Lizzie who is first on the scene, so it is Lizzie who the police first question, but there are others in the household with stories to tell: older sister Emma, Irish maid Bridget, the girls’ Uncle John, and a boy who knows more than anyone realises.

    In a dazzlingly original and chilling reimagining of this most notorious of unsolved mysteries, Sarah Schmidt opens the door to the Borden home and leads us into its murkiest corners, where jealousies, slow-brewed rivalries and the darkest of thoughts reside.

    Well I was expecting to really love this book but after reaching page 153 last night I decided to call it a day. If I had to give it a rating based on what I had read (which is obviously unfair) I would give it 2*.

    I just knew it wouldn’t be a book that made me excited to pick up. It wasn’t fast paced enough for me (I was still on the day of the murders by page 153) and I found Lizzie’s constant inane ramblings frustrating and confusing.

    Anyway, when reading is your passion, I don’t want to read books that are just ‘ok.’ I want a book that makes me want to stay awake!!!!

    • 4. Black Swan Green by David Mitchell. 3.5*

    Description: semi autobiographical, 1980s, coming of age.

    The dazzling novel from critically-acclaimed David Mitchell.

    Shortlisted for the 2006 Costa Novel Award

    Longlisted for the Man Booker Prize 2006

    January, 1982. Thirteen-year-old Jason Taylor – covert stammerer and reluctant poet – anticipates a stultifying year in his backwater English village. But he hasn’t reckoned with bullies, simmering family discord, the Falklands War, a threatened gypsy invasion and those mysterious entities known as girls. Charting thirteen months in the black hole between childhood and adolescence, this is a captivating novel, wry, painful and vibrant with the stuff of life.

    This was my book club choice for a summer read. My intention was to read something light and funny whilst lying by the pool. This book popped up in a lot of articles about funny reads. What is funnier than a teenage boy I thought. Having finished the book, ‘funny’ does not even come into the top five words I would use to describe it. This book is so beautifully written and so well observed that I actually found it quite painful to read. I fell in love with the character of Jason Taylor. In him, Mitchell perfectly captured the voice of a 13 year old. The language, friendships, fears all so real. The sections where Jason is being bullied I found almost too painful to get through. Mitchell’s writing about Taylor’s parents marriage breakdown was perfect. The snidey remarks over the dinner table were perfect, the alliance between Jason and Julia growing closer as a result of it was brilliant. Mitchell’s writing is just so vivid, unpretentious and real.

    • 5. Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. 4*.
  • Description: wealth, family saga, Mean Girls.
  • The acclaimed international bestseller soon to be a MAJOR MOTION PICTURE starring Constance Wu, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh and Gemma Chan!

    When Rachel Chu agrees to spend the summer in Singapore with her boyfriend, Nicholas Young, she envisions a humble family home and time with the man she might one day marry.

    What she doesn’t know is that Nick’s family home happens to look like a palace, that she’ll ride in more private planes than cars and that she is about to encounter the strangest, craziest group of people in existence.

    Uproarious, addictive, and filled with jaw-dropping opulence, Crazy Rich Asians is an insider’s look at the Asian jet set; a perfect depiction of the clash between old money and new money – and a fabulous novel about what it means to be young, in love, and gloriously, crazily rich.

    This is fun, superficial escapism that hooks and reels in even the reluctant reader: Dynastyamong the filthy-rich Chinese community – Independent

    I don’t want to make this post really maudlin but I lost our 20 week old baby this month. Reading is one of the things that is getting me through it. The moments I am reading are pure escapism and I have spend a lot of time over the last week in bed reading. This book was pure escapism. It was fluffy, pink, trashy brilliance. It was like eating a giant candy floss. I want to save the other books in the trilogy until I am in need of cheering up. Really fun read.

    • 6. The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney. DNF

    THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

    ‘I couldn’t stop reading or caring about the juicy and dysfunctional Plumb family’ AMY POEHLER

    ‘A masterfully constructed, darkly comic, and immensely captivating tale…Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney is a real talent’ ELIZABETH GILBERT

    When black sheep Leo has a costly car accident, the Plumb siblings’ much-anticipated inheritance is suddenly wiped out. His brother and sisters come together and form a plan to get back what is owed them – each grappling with their own financial and emotional turmoil from the fallout. As ‘the nest’ fades further from view, they must decide whether they will build their lives anew, or fight to regain the futures they had planned . . .

    Ferociously astute, warm and funny, The Nest is a brilliant debut chronicling the hilarity and savagery of family life.

    My issue with this book is that I felt the exact opposite of Amy Poehler. I didn’t care at all about the Poehler family…in fact I found it all very dull. Gave up on page 108.

    • 7. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. 3.5 stars.
  • Description: race, family, parenthood.
  • ‘To say I love this book is an understatement…It moved me to tears’ Reese Witherspoon

    ‘Just read it…Outstanding’ Matt Haig

    Everyone in Shaker Heights was talking about it that summer: how Isabelle, the last of the Richardson children, had finally gone around the bend and burned the house down.

    In Shaker Heights, a placid, progressive suburb of Cleveland, everything is meticulously planned – from the layout of the winding roads, to the colours of the houses, to the successful lives its residents will go on to lead. And no one embodies this spirit more than Elena Richardson, whose guiding principle is playing by the rules.

    Enter Mia Warren – an enigmatic artist and single mother- who arrives in this idyllic bubble with her teenage daughter Pearl, and rents a house from the Richardsons. Soon Mia and Pearl become more than just tenants: all four Richardson children are drawn to the mother-daughter pair. But Mia carries with her a mysterious past, and a disregard for the rules that threatens to upend this carefully ordered community.

    When old family friends attempt to adopt a Chinese-American baby, a custody battle erupts that dramatically divides the town – and puts Mia and Elena on opposing sides. Suspicious of Mia and her motives, Elena is determined to uncover the secrets in Mia’s past. But her obsession will come at an unexpected and devastating cost…

    One of the things I most loved about this book was that it was a surprise. After reading the prologue I thought I had a fair idea of what this book would be. This is going to be a story about Izzy right? A story of teenage angst and how a family deals with a troublesome child. Wrong Ella! This book was about so much more. Class, race, fertility. The book had such a range of emotions and subjects you would think it would be a read of highly octane drama but it was actually a quiet, character based novel.

    Celeste Ng has an incredible talent for writing very real characters. As a reader, I feel like I went through a range of emotions with every single character. A character I initially disliked, would be a character that I empathised with by the end of the novel. Subjects, that at the beginning of the novel I had a strong opinion about, I often found that my opinion has changed and I had sympathy for the other side of the argument.

    Non Fiction

    • 8. The 24 hour wine expert by Jancis Robinson.
  • Description: short, quite detailed, dull.
  • From the world’s most respected wine critic, the essential guide to wine in 100 pages

    Wine is now one of the most popular drinks in the world. Many wine drinkers wish they knew more about it without having to understand every detail or go on a wine course.

    In The 24-Hour Wine Expert, Jancis Robinson shares her expertise with authority, wit and approachability. From the difference between red and white, to the shape of bottles and their labels, descriptions of taste, colour and smell, to pairing wine with food and the price-quality correlation, Robinson helps us make the most of this mysteriously delicious drink.

    Jancis Robinson has been called ‘the most respected wine critic and journalist in the world’ by Decantermagazine. In 1984 she was the first person outside the wine trade to qualify as a Master of Wine. The Financial Times wine writer, she is the author/editor of dozens of wine books, including Wine Grapes (Allen Lane), The Oxford Companion to Wine (OUP) and The World Atlas of Wine (Mitchell Beazley). Her award-winning website, http://www.JancisRobinson.com has subscribers in 100 countries.

    Right, I want to make it clear that I don’t want to turn into a wine wanker but seeing as I must spend about £50 a week on wine, I think it is important to know what I like and maybe to be a little more discerning about why I like it. This book was a quick read but god it was dull. Obviously Jancis Robinson is the expert but as a beginner I want a book to be more accessible. Anyway, when I was awake I did learn a bit about wine.

    Children’s books

    • The Best Sound in the World by Cindy Wume. 3+

    Roy is a lion and a sound catcher. He catches the sounds of the city and makes them into music, trying to avoid the annoying attentions of his neighbour, Jemmy. Feeling like his music isn’t good enough, Roy goes on a journey to find the best sound in the world for inspiration. He hears the pitter-patter of the rain in the forest, the wind whistling through the desert and the hustle and bustle of the souk at sunrise, but none of it helps – he can’t decide which is the best sound. Just as he’s about to give up, he hears a familiar voice… can Jemmy teach him that perhaps there are lots of beautiful sounds, not just one, and that for Jemmy, Roy’s music is the best of all? This gorgeous debut picture book is both a lesson in subjectivity and a heart-warming tribute to the power of friendship.

    What a totally gorgeous book. I am

    A musician and so this really appealed to me as the mum. It also provoked a hilarious discussion….what do we think are the most beautiful and the most horrid sounds in the world. Edith decided the most beautiful sound was bees buzzing. Edith and I decided the most horrid sound was Ceci screaming which she did all the way through the story!!!! We also discussed how some lovely sounds are connected to lovely memories. We liked the way that Jemmy made music fun and maybe helped Roy to take life a little less seriously…..music sounds better when you are having fun!

    • Oscar and the Catastrophe by Alan Macdonald 6+

    The third book in a brilliantly funny new series for 6+ readers from bestselling Dirty Bertie author Alan MacDonald, about a boy and his incredible talking dog.

    Sam had a very ordinary life, until Oscar the dog arrived on his doorstep. Because Oscar has a big secret – he can talk!

    Oscar usually has a lot to say on any subject, but in this book something makes him speechless . . . a CAT has moved in next door! And Carmen the pampered feline is almost as much of a nightmare neighbour as her owner, Mrs Bentley-Wallop.

    But Sam and Oscar have bigger things to worry about. When a jewel thief strikes, it’s time for the daring duo to turn detective . . . Can they sniff out the culprit before it’s too late?

    Edie and I really enjoyed this book even though we hadn’t read the previous two. She is 5 so slightly younger than the audience it is aimed at. However, she really enjoyed the illustrations and the voices we used for each character.

    • The Witches by Roald Dahl

    THE WITCHES by Roald Dahl is the story of a detestable breed of Witches.

    BEWARE.

    Real witches dress in ordinary clothes and look like ordinary women. But they are not ordinary. They are always plotting and scheming with murderous, bloodthirsty thoughts – and they hate children.

    The Grand High Witch hates children most of all and plans to make every single one of YOU disappear.

    Only one boy and his grandmother can stop her, but if their plan fails the Grand High Witch will frizzle them like fritters, and then what . . . ?

  • Because I work in the theatre, one thing I will never take for granted is a night at home because it means that I can read to my daughters. It is really important to me that my children love books as much as me and I believe as a parent it is my responsibility to make reading exciting. Edith is now 5 so I can start reading to her the stories that I loved. We tried Milly Molly Mandy which I enjoyed as a child and unfortunately I don’t think it has stood the test of time although we might try again. I think due to tv, films, iPads etc, attention span of children has decreased so you really need a book that packs a punch to keep a little one interested. Roald Dahl does exactly that. It has enough horror, funnies and gross bits to appeal to any child and as a parent I adore reading them.
  • Anyway see you in September.
  • Thanks for reading.
  • Somewhere over the rainbow. My miscarriage story.

    It’s been a couple of weeks since I landed in this strange bubble world of sadness and disconnect. On the 11th August we lost our baby of 20 weeks. Two weeks on and I feel just as sad and empty but with an added fear that the world is still turning and at some point I have to start turning again with it. I just don’t feel ready to do that yet.

    This is a very personal but necessary post to write and for me it has been really therapeutic. Late miscarriage is thankfully rare. At the doctor’s surgery last week, I was told that I was the only late miscarriage they had had this year. Last year there was only two. I have joined a couple of late miscarriage Facebook groups and the support the ladies give each other is invaluable. Still however, the group is full of questions and not many answers. Last night a lady posted who had lost her baby at 17 weeks. She was due to go into hospital the next day and she had no idea what would happen. She was terrified. If this post lifts the shroud of secrecy, mystery and darkness around miscarriage then it’s done it’s job. If it helps one person then great.

    This baby would have been our third daughter. I have always wanted a big family. I remember my husband being more reticent: we have 2 beautiful and healthy daughters, why ask for more????I have crap pregnancies, why go through it again???? I saw his logic but I couldn’t shake the image of myself as Ma Walton or Sally Field in Brothers and Sisters. I want a brood of children. I don’t want it to be neat and tidy. I want a mess of emotions and megabloks united in a big family. I got my wish. We got pissed one night and I got pregnant. Easy.

    This pregnancy fell under the radar a bit. I didn’t worry. In fact I was blasé. I knew the drill, I had done it twice before. I was so busy with the girls and work I didn’t really think about it. I had a bit of a wobble before the 12 week scan when I was a little worried my age (37) would increase the risk of downs etc but generally I took it all in my stride. When I lay on the bed and saw our little bean on the screen, I cried. It was moving about like something possessed. My blood results came back and there was minimal risk of any genetic problems. Suddenly seeing the baby on the screen made it so real. I realised we were so lucky to be in this position again.

    On the 9th August it was raining….maybe that was prophetic after weeks and weeks of blazing sun. My 2.5 year old and I went to me routine midwife appointment. She used the Doppler to listen to the heartbeat and couldn’t find one. I knew then. She sent me to hospital for a scan. I left the midwife and tried to call my husband who eventually answered, left work and rushed to meet me. I remember walking through the hospital thinking ‘in 5 minutes I will know and I will either be devastated or beyond relieved.’ In 5 minutes I did know. The baby had died. “It’s not good news” said the man doing the scan. My husband arrived just after I was told and we just sobbed.

    We were ushered out of the room, past the couples who were waiting for their scans of their living babies and into the counselling room. Midwives and consultants came in and apologised for our loss. It was a blur of words and despair. I was advised to come back on Saturday and be induced. I was given a pill to stop the pregnancy hormones. I was given tea with sugar and then we left, clutching my maternity notes that 6 weeks previously showed the scan of our baby and now listed the sad words intrauterine death.

    On Saturday we arrived at the Delivery Suite and were shown into a room called The Forget Me Not Suite (I mean really?!?!?!?). I remember walking in and being overwhelmed by the sight of the bed where soon I would be pushing out my baby. My midwife Anne came in. What a shit job that must be. I wonder if they had drawn straws to see who had the miserable task of manning The Forget Me Not Suite that day. As she was trying to find a vein to insert my cannula I asked “Do you get many of these?”

    “Tricky veins?” She answered.

    “No,” I replied. “Dead babies.”

    “No, not that many.” I couldn’t work out whether to be comforted or gutted by her response.

    There was a TV in the room. Thank God there was a TV in the room. Rather naively, my husband and I had no idea how long the whole process would take. It’s long. Arduous. I was given a tablet every 6 hours. We arrived in hospital at 8am and my Labour didn’t really start until 8pm. We spent the time drinking bad cups of tea and watching totally random shit on tv….power walking, endless gardening. Daytime TV on Saturday is bad. My husband was angry and frustrated that we weren’t prepared for how long it was going to take. I was grateful that I didn’t know.

    The day passed in a bit of a blur. I remember feeling so sorry for the lady who came in to take our food orders. You could tell she was terrified what she would find behind the door of the Forget Me Not Suite. At 19:30 a new midwife came on, Araminta. This midwife found it harder than Anne. I called her at 20:00 when I went to the toilet and had started bleeding. Araminta found me sobbing on my husband. This was the bleakest time for me. Usually labour pains signify the start of a new phase in your life. I remember in NCT being told that every contraction brought you closer to seeing your baby. This time every contraction was bringing me closer to the end of something I so longed for. Araminta helped me into bed, cuddled me and had a cry herself.

    Labour pains weren’t as bad as the previous times. I guess due to the fact that I didn’t have to get to 10cm. Earlier in the day I had been completely torn about pain medication. I was in such emotional pain should I use meds to dull the physical pain? Alternatively would the physical pain give me a good excuse to scream out some of the emotional pain? In the end I plumped for co-codamol and gas and air. In previous labours, gas and air made me feel a bit sick. This time however, it made me feel just out of it enough that I could almost disconnect with what was going on.

    Labour proper started during the film Pitch Perfect 2. Ironically I had been discussing the merits of the Pitch Perfect trilogy only a few days earlier with a colleague. A few days earlier, when I was happy and confident I was carrying a healthy baby. When the baby came out, Araminta kept saying “sorry, sorry, sorry.”

    I saw my daughter. Initially I was too scared. I was worried that every time I closed my eyes, she was all I would see. The midwife told me she was beautiful. I didn’t like the idea that she would only be seen by the midwife. I had to see this little life. My daughter, my little girl. She was beautiful. Tiny. The size of my hand. She won’t ever know her big sisters, she won’t argue with them about whether to watch Dugee or Ben and Holly but for a little while she was alive and because of that, as her mum, I had to see her.

    After she was born we had to wait for the placenta. Because the umbilical chord was so thin there was a worry that it would break. After numerous attempts to extract it manually I was taken to Theatre and the whole thing was over at 6:30 am.

    So what have I learned? I am now a member of a quiet, sad group of women who are praying for their rainbow. This word has a new meaning now (rainbow is a baby conceived after a loss). I now know what all these initialisms mean: BD (baby dance….sex), TTC (trying to conceive) and MC (miscarriage).

    I have learned about grief. At 37 I realise I am pretty lucky. My parents are alive and well as are my husband’s. Life has been good to us so grief is an emotion I haven’t had much experience with. I knew I would go through feelings of anger. I was expecting these feeling to be aimed at people who were pregnant or those with newborns. This hasn’t been the case at all. I don’t want their babies. I want my own. Surprisingly, in the beginning I was angry at the baby I miscarried. I feel there is a bit of a non written contract when you get pregnant. I, as the mother promise to eat the right food, drink the right drinks, exercise when I am knackered, inject myself with blood thinners (to stop clotting), take daily vitamins, puke my guts up etc. You, as my baby just have to stay alive. Keep that heart pumping. If the worst should happen, please miscarry in the first few weeks (the pessimist in me expects that). Please don’t die at 20 weeks and give me no indication of your passing. I feel almost wrong footed by the baby. I turned up at my midwife appointment, with my 2 year old, confident that all was well. I think partly this grief is tainted by shock. I was confident in this pregnancy to the point of almost being cocky. I had two successful pregnancies this baby would be fine. The fact that this has happened and I was so unprepared has shocked me to the core.

    What has been hard??? The day my husband went back to work was horrid. Seeing people carry on with life is awful when I feel like I am permanently on pause. People saying “it just wasn’t meant to be” is horrid. Being exhausted. Grieving is utterly knackering. I spend the day in a constant haze and then when I crawl into bed I am wide awake.

    There has however been humour. Pretty dark humour granted but there have been some laughs. I had my first counselling session the other day. The lady gave me a diagram about how men and women grieve differently. Apparently at the moment I am floundering in ‘The Whirlpool of Grief” while my husband is trying to stay afloat in “The River of Life.” There have been a few jokes about this….mainly sung either to the tune of The Rhythm of Life or The Circle of Life.

    People have said I’m brave and lovely as that is it’s one thing I’m not. I think you are brave if you choose to do something that scares you. I’m not brave. I had no choice but to go through this and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I know with time it will get easier but at the moment I don’t feel like the girl I was 3 weeks ago and at the moment I am trying to work out where I fit in a world in which I feel so disconnected.

    July reads

    This month it is all about quality over quantity. Ok, ok, I have gotten through minimal books. This is partly due to the fact that for the first 20 days of the month I was still finishing Nothing to Envy which I cheekily reviewed in my June post just so it looked like I had read at least three books.

    This month started with high hopes of reading Pachinko (hence last month’s Korea obsession) but I decided in order to overcome my current piss poor attention span I was going to stick with books under the 250 page limit.

    I go on holiday tomorrow and I am taking small books. Books, that if they don’t work, I won’t have to trudge through for the next 5 weeks. Books that once I have read the first 60 pages it usually takes me to get absorbed, I have pretty much finished.

    • Heartburn by Nora Ephron. 4*

    Description: marriage, humour, Jewish.

    Seven months into her pregnancy, Rachel discovers that her husband is in love with another woman. The fact that this woman has a ‘neck as long as an arm and a nose as long as a thumb’ is no consolation. Food sometimes is, though, since Rachel is a cookery writer, and between trying to win Mark back and wishing him dead, she offers us some of her favourite recipes. Heartburn is a roller coaster of love, betrayal, loss and – most satisfyingly – revenge.

    This book ticked a lot of my boxes.

    1. It’s short.

    2. It involves food. Namely Jewish Food which I know nothing about.

    3. I feel I can relate. Rachel is 7 months pregnant. I am 4. This is sorta where the relatability stops. Hopefully my husband isn’t having an affair with a long nosed woman called Teresa but I do find it comforting to read that marriage is hard. Is that weird???? I like a look at a marriage that isn’t rose tinted because my god since we have had our kids and my job which involves me never being around in the evening our relationship we really have had to work at our marriage.

    This book is like sitting with a friend and listening to her marital woes. It made me laugh and often made me nod my head in agreement. It was comforting like watching When Harry Met Sally.

    • When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. 4*

    Description: memoir, neuroscience, cancer.

    At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, the next he was a patient struggling to live.

    When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi’s transformation from a medical student asking what makes a virtuous and meaningful life into a neurosurgeon working in the core of human identity – the brain – and finally into a patient and a new father.

    What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when when life is catastrophically interrupted? What does it mean to have a child as your own life fades away?

    Paul Kalanithi died while working on this profoundly moving book, yet his words live on as a guide to us all. When Breath Becomes Air is a life-affirming reflection on facing our mortality and on the relationship between doctor and patient, from a gifted writer who became both.

    In the last couple of months I have read two very different books about the medical profession. This is going to Hurt by Adam Kay and When Breath Becomes Air. I have always been awed by those who work in medicine but since reading these books my respect has tripled. Working in such an industry is most definitely a calling and not just a job and dealing with life and death on a day to day basis takes a very special human being.

    When reading a novel like this, I am reminded of how lucky I am. I have a healthy husband and two healthy children. My husband and I are both lucky enough to have both sets of parents alive and well. We have never had to deal with our own mortality or that of our loved ones. It is something I fear and I hope I deal with it when it comes with as much grace and dignity as Paul and his wife.

    Would it be harder to deal with death as a doctor? To receive your own prognosis in the same room you have delivered countless test results to your patients? To know exactly how your body was going to deteriorate and to know exactly what drugs were going to be used??? I think in many ways the answer is yes and even in a job where you are faced with having to deliver bad news to your patients, coming face to face and dealing with your own mortality is an entirely different thing.

    I think I was most moved by Lucy’s beautiful words at the end. I guess you don’t realise your strength until it is tested but Lucy’s eloquent words really resonated with me. To lose your husband is tragic. To lose him when you have such a young child is just devastating.

    • Lady Killers. Deadly Women Throughout History by Tori Telfer. 4*.

    Description: witty, My Favourite Murder, poison.

    When you think of serial killers throughout history, the names that come to mind are ones like Jack the Ripper and Ted Bundy. But what about Tillie Klimek, Moulay Hassan, Kate Bender? The narrative we’re comfortable with is the one where women are the victims of violent crime, not the perpetrators. In fact, serial killers are thought to be so universally, overwhelmingly male that in 1998, FBI profiler Roy Hazelwood infamously declared in a homicide conference, ‘There are no female serial killers’.

    Lady Killers, based on the popular online series that appeared on Jezebel and The Hairpin, disputes that claim and offers fourteen gruesome examples as evidence. Though largely forgotten by history, female serial killers such as Erzsebet Bathory, Nannie Doss, Mary Ann Cotton, and Darya Nikolayevna Saltykova rival their male counterparts in cunning, cruelty, and appetite for destruction.

    Each chapter explores the crimes and history of a different subject, and then proceeds to unpack her legacy and her portrayal in the media, as well as the stereotypes and sexist cliches that inevitably surround her. The first book to examine female serial killers through a feminist lens with a witty and dryly humorous tone, Lady Killers dismisses easy explanations (she was hormonal, she did it for love, a man made her do it) and tired tropes (she was a femme fatale, a black widow, a witch), delving into the complex reality of female aggression and predation. Featuring 14 illustrations from Dame Darcy, Lady Killers is a bloodcurdling, insightful, and irresistible journey into the heart of darkness.

    Another successful read for me!!! Yay! This was a holiday read and utterly perfect for my current situation-constantly being interrupted by a 2 and a 5 year old. If I could give one top tip for a holiday with kids it would be this……pick something simple with shortish chapters that you can get into easily without having to trudge through 100 or so complicated pages. I picked this book and a book of Roald Dahl short stories. In six days of holiday I have finished this book and am half way through the Dahl so reading-wise I feel successful.

    Telfer’s book is brill. It reminded me a lot of one of my top podcasts ‘My Favourite Murder.’ The tone was witty and informal with just enough information in each chapter to stop you feeling bogged down with fact. Indeed, after each chapter, I thought how much I would love to read a whole book based on each woman. Alternating this book with another was a definite plus as a lot of these women’s stories were slightly similar….woman murders husbands 1, 2, 3 and 4 with delicious meals laced with arsenic, but equally there are enough contrasting stories (Kate Bender, Erzsebet Bathory, Raya and Sakina) to keep it interesting.

    My one and only criticism is that I would have loved some more pictures, photos, documents etc.

    Anyway, really enjoyable read and I look forward to reading more by Telfer.